I’ve been quietly working away on this blog on and off for oh I don’t know… about two years or so. For a long time I kept my visibility “private” and just plucked away at the design when I could and wrote a new post here and there.
Each visit to my admin page brought with it a small victory of feeling accomplished in having contributed some new thoughts, but that was then coupled with several setbacks when I realized how technically inept I am. One day my images weren’t all sized the same, the next certain widgets weren’t working properly, and stuff like that.
The only person I had told about this blog (and who has played the role of sole cheerleader on this journey) would inevitably encourage me to go “public.” Stop wasting time and just do it.
Was I ready for this? Nope. Was the mere thought creating a giant lump in my throat that would not go away? Yup. But it had to be done. I couldn’t move forward without really putting myself out there.
So after way too much deliberation and time spent staring down the “publish” button, with sweaty palms and a overwhelming sense that I might loose my lunch, I did it, I went PUBLIC. That wasn’t so bad. I let out a huge *SIGH* and went to see how it would look when viewed by my soon-to-be totally awesome audience.
And there it was…
Ugh! Are you freakin’ kidding me!! After all that.
So yet another hiccup to overcome and setback to deal with. After a bit of digging, a misplaced call to the wrong host provider, and several chat sessions later, I came to learn that my posts have actually been live all of this time and it was just my homepage that wasn’t. Say what?!
You mean to tell me that my posts have been out there in the world wide web for others to read if they wanted to. I wasn’t hiding behind a self imposed veil that I alone could expose when I, and only I, was ready. Clearly my blogging skills were far inferior than I had originally thought.
Okay, so no major harm done. All this worry for nothing it seemed because I was already doing this blog thing whether I realized it or not.
With a single quick inquiry to my host provider the homepage issue was fixed and just like that I was LIVE. With this new realization of an actual living, breathing blog out there for others to read (if and when they found me), I had a new focus to just commit myself to thing once and for all and just roll with it.